Squish
by Silver Sailor Ganymede
Summary: Tomo wants 'to see squish marks', Osaka wants a straight jacket, and Yomi wants to know why she's the only sane person left on the planet.


Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.

**_(A.N thanks to Chris and Lou for the random things and conversations we had/did in town that inspired this.)_**

Squish  
By Silver Sailor Ganymede

"That's it," Tomo proclaimed. "I'm tired, and we're going to sit on this wall."

"We haven't even shopped that much today," Yomi pointed out.

"I don't care," Tomo replied, and she sat down on the wall and took out a bag of grapes, which she proceeded to eat.

"Tomo, ya shouldn't eat so many grapes. They're bad fuh you," Osaka, who had accompanied Yomi and Tomo on their weekend shopping trip, said as she and Yomi sat down too.

"Why are grapes bad for you?" Yomi asked.

"Coz they are evil and will take ovah your brain when ya eat too many, and then they'll take ovah tha world!"

There was silence for about a minute, then…

"Tomo, what exactly are you doing with those grapes?" Yomi asked her friend, who was currently chucking grapes into the middle of the road.

"I'm chucking these grapes into the road," Tomo replied.

"Yes I can see that."

"Well why did you ask then?"

"I wanted to know exactly why you've decided to chuck the grapes into the road."

"I wanted to see some squish marks," Tomo replied as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

Yomi slapped her hand to her forehead in despair as the aforementioned friend continued chuckuing grapes into the path of passing cars.

"Drat!" Tomo yelled at a passing car. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO RUN OVER THE GRAPES DAMNIT!"

This caused a number of passers by to look at her as though she were completely insane; a fact that Yomi couldn't agree more on.

"What're they looking at me like that for?" the oblivious girl asked.

"Maybe because you were just yelling at the passing cars to 'run over the grapes'," Yomi suggested.

"But I'm always yelling things like that," Tomo said. "Why don't people usually look at me like that when I do this sort of thing?"

"They do, you're usually just too wrapped up in being thick to notice."

Tomo opened her mouth to say something, but just before she did a car ran over one of the grapes.

"YES! Finally! One of the grapes has been squished!" she cheered as she began jumping in the air.

"Tomo, shup up," Yomi growled.

A couple of minutes passed and there were still grapes on the road that hadn't been squished. Yomi could see that Tomo was getting very annoyed. Yomi blinked and Tomo ran out into the road and began stamping on the grapes.

"Tomo! Get back here before you get yourself killed!" Yomi called, preparing to run after her friend.

"One second," Tomo shouted as she stamped on the last of the grapes. Then she ran back to where Yomi and Osaka were sitting.

"Tomo, what the heck did you do that for?"

"Well the grapes weren't getting squished, so I went and did it myself."

"People are staring at us again thanks to you. Did you want to get yourself killed?"

"No, but it was an adventure running in between the cars and squishing grapes."

"I swear you should be shoved into the nearest mental hospital," Yomi muttered and Tomo pouted.

"I'd like ta go ta tha nearest mental hospital," Osaka piped up. "Coz then they'd gimme a straight jacket, and I've always wanted one of those."

"What?"

"I wanna get a staght jacket. They're all shiny, ya know."

"Since when have straight jackets been shiny?" Tomo asked.

"Well I dunno; I just want a shiny one," Osaka replied as she opened the can of coke she had bought and began pouring it all over the floor.

"What are you doing?"

"Pouring mah coke on the floor."

"And why exactly are you doing that, Osaka?"

"I wanna see it get squished, like Tomo wants to see her grapes squished."

Yomi sweatdropped.

"Damn!" Tomo groaned.

"Damn what?"

"Damn this! I've run out of grapes. I still want to squish things!" she pouted. "Hang on a minute, I know!" She began to rifle round in her bag and pulled out a bag full of sugard almonds.

Yomi's mouth began to water; she loved sugared almonds. Maybe she could steal some off Tomo somehow, as she knew the hyper brunette would never give her any.

Tomo opened the bag and chucked a sugared almond into the road. Straight away a car ran over it.

"YES!" Tomo cheered. "It got squished! YAY!"

She was going to throw another one into the road, but Yomi grabbed the bag off her and put three of the almonds into her mouth at once.

"Yomi, what are you doing eating those?" Tomo gasped. "I thought you were on a diet!"

"I am."

"Do you know how many calories are in those? They'll make you gain weight as soon as you eat them!"

"I don't care. And besides, you're lying. If what you'd said was true, you'd be a blimp by now," Yomi pointed out.

"Nuh-uh; I burn off food as soon as I eat it because I'm so energetic" Tomo replied, poking her tongue out at Yomi. "Now give me my almonds back."

"No, you'll waste them by throwing them in the road."

"I won't. And I'll let you have more later."

Reluctantly Yomi handed the bag back to Tomo, who instantly threw another almond into the road.

"I thought you said you wouldn't do that."

"I lied," Tomo grinned. "Besides, its fun to squish things."

Yomi sighed at her friend's insane behaviour and then picked up the can of diet coke she had bought and opened it. She growled as the coke she had been planning to drink fizzed out of the can and all over her new skirt.

"Ooh," Osaka said, "so that's why people are always tellin' me not ta shake cans of coke."

"Yes," Yomi snapped, glaring at the spacy-girl as she tried to get the coke out of her skirt. "_That's why_."


End file.
